The ABC by Spike Milligan
Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud 'Tut-Tut!'
Said A to B, 'I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!'
'I disagree,' said D to B,
'I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O.'
C was vexed, 'I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape.'
He's right' said E; said F, 'Whoopee!'
Said G, ''Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!'
'You're dropping me,' roared H to G.
'Don't do it please I pray.'
'Out of my way,' LL said to K.
'I'll make poor I look ILL.'
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.
'U know,' said V, 'that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he.'
X and Y yawned sleepily,
'Look at the time!' they said.
'Let's all get off to beddy byes.'
They did, then 'Z-z-z.'
