These days reading glasses are fashionable in that nerdy-chic way, and practical to wear, if wear glasses you must. You can whip them off when you need to speak to someone and, generally, when you are out and about, they remain in their case. However, I am short-sighted and can't recognise my own children in the distance in the school playground or colleagues approaching from the far end of the corridor or read sub-titles on the television, menu deals at the take-away or street signs while driving especially in my town where they are inconveniently and incomprehensively placed on the furthest side of the street.
I need them on when I am moving, but not when I come to a halt. Look down and they have to be off so I can read the label, the recipe instructions or the street directory at close quarters. So they are on and off, on and off, on and off, all day long. Infuriating. I've no patience whatsoever. I've tried slinging them on my neckline, where they fall off when you bend over, parking them on my head like sunglasses where your hair get stuck in the wings and frankly it looks daft, and wearing them all the time which is a recipe for eye strain.
So, I sense there is a market for the modern spectacle receptacle (it will need a name, 'spec-lace' ?) which just might be the next Big Thing in accessories for myopic fashionistas. Etsy sellers look out. No granny chains from Big W please. Something stylish in precious metal, leather, cord, ribbons or ethnic beads. You heard it first here.
The product could be launched at a performance of the fabulous show, The Girls with Glasses, by Brooke White and Summer Bellessa. Theme song: I am a Girl...Gonna Capture the World. Sylvia Plath. Lucille Ball. Marilyn Monroe, Bridget Bardot. Grace Kelly. Audrey Hepburn. Mother Teresa. Marie Curie.
Now where did I put my glasses?